So You Wrote A Comment And Then Had To Write Another: A Personal Lesson on Dealing With Differing Opinions on Social Media

There will be people with whom we don’t agree on major issues. Some of them will never change their minds. Some of them could change their minds. You may never change your mind. Or you could change your mind. Whatever the case may be, be open to sharing your perspective. Temper your responses to a difference in opinion in such a way that will foster a deeper exploration of strongly-held viewpoints. Ask more questions than you make statements (and not the kinds of questions that answer themselves). That way you’re better able to determine if the conversation is just about being heard or more about bringing change. The result could be that someone gains a new perspective. Perhaps they’re not completely persuaded to your side, but growth in understanding has taken place. Abraham Kaplan once said “If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.” If all we do is respond to every dissenting opinion with righteous indignation, vitriol, or excommunication, we lose the opportunity to foster change that could come from open dialogue.

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In my opinion, the worst place to try to facilitate this is in the comments section of anything. I encourage you, when a potential situation like this arises, to ask the participating party if the conversation can take place on another platform, and take it away from the main stage.

Now I want to address common responses to this advice.

“I’m tired of having to explain. I shouldn’t have to explain.” Fine. Then don’t. But don’t always observe someone else’s silence as complacency when you yourself are silent too.  When it comes to discussing issues of faith, the Bible is pretty clear on this stance: “Preach the word of God. Be prepared, whether the time is favorable or not. Patiently correct, rebuke, and encourage your people with good teaching. For a time is coming when people will no longer listen to sound and wholesome teaching. They will follow their own desires and will look for teachers who will tell them whatever their itching ears want to hear. They will reject the truth and chase after myths. But you should keep a clear mind in every situation. Don’t be afraid of suffering for the Lord. Work at telling others the Good News, and fully carry out the ministry God has given you.”1 If ever you have attempted to use faith as a basis for why someone should be swayed to your thinking, then first make sure your stance is backed by Scripture.* If it is, this verse applies. Even if it’s not about faith, this verse is also just plain good advice for anything.

“The victim should not have to defend their innocence.” While true, perhaps the multiple sides of the issue disagree on the definition of “victim,” who the victim actually is, and whether there actually is a victim. Ask questions to get to the root of the difference and build up the conversation from there. “Why do you believe this?” “Where did you get this information?” “Would you be open to considering whether...?”

“This is my opinion. I don’t want to debate it. If you disagree, don’t do it here.” Ah, the one-way conversation. I have to wonder if we would have been so lucky as to indulge in the prolific works of author and theologian C.S. Lewis if all J.R.R. Tolkein did was have one-way conversations with him.

I’ll be the first to admit I haven’t always followed my own advice on this. But at this point, I now rely more heavily on my actions showing people where I stand, rather than my words.

In love and veritas,

Chioma

 

 

1.     2 Timothy 4:2-5

 

*I’m going to go on a tangent here for a second: What if you don’t know whether faith has anything to do with what’s being debated. Or you’ve always been told it does but have never understood why. Ask. There are no dumb questions when it comes to your faith. Maybe you’ve grown up with the understanding that you just have to accept what you’re being told and you cannot question it. Maybe you’ve never asked for yourself “what does the Bible really say about xyz topic? Why did the Bible take this particular stance on xyz topic? Did the Bible really take that stance?” Well, dozens of RZIM YouTube videos later, I’ve realized a lot of people have a lot of questions, and there are great and clear answers to many of those questions. My first recommendations: pray about it and get a really good study Bible.

Chioma Obih1 Comment