Confessions Of A Mean Christian

I used to be a mean Christian. Energized by new understandings of my Christian faith, I shared everything I heard and learned from Christian commentaries and sermons. As I should have, right? I knew that in the fight against “the world, the flesh, and the devil,”1 my silence could be used as a weapon of the enemy. So whether you asked for it or not, you would know my unadulterated thoughts. If you were having a conversation about who was winning the latest Twitter beef, I’d sub-tweet and ask why you’re not more concerned about your losing battle against sin. Feel like you had a great time at the club last night? What a shame, because I’d tell you why satisfying your flesh is actually killing you. All hail the newest luxury car-driving, Louboutin-wearing, best-life living doctors in town? Nah, let me tell you why none of that stuff matters.

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It’s not to say that I was wrong about the impact of sin, self-gratification, and vanity on someone’s life, but in those instances of interjecting said truths, I didn’t care about the person I was telling them to. I just wanted to prove a point. I know I have said and done and will likely say or do things out of anger, hurt, confusion, etc. I’m not perfect. But there were times when I said things with a righteous anger yet a blissful ignorance that my delivery and inconsideration of that person’s perspective could be hurtful. I forsook the most important part of the message: love for God and love for our neighbor. At the crux of the message of our salvation from sin and eternal damnation is how God’s love for us led to His greatest sacrifice for us. That means that whatever we are about to say in the light of God’s Word should lead with love. I don’t mean that we should coddle sin and tread lightly on its manifestations so that we don’t hurt people’s feelings. Far from it, but I’ll address that in a moment.

Firstly, I want to establish that when Jesus rebuked the Pharisees (read: self-righteous) in Matthew 22-23, He spoke specifically to the orientation of their hearts. Their hearts were not worshipping God but were instead reverencing their own obedience to and unrivaled understanding of the religious laws. For they did not exemplify God’s love as much as they spoke of it, and their religious acts were exhibits of expertise rather than acts of service to their neighbors, congregation, sheepfold, etc. So just like a skilled predator artfully attempts to trap its prey, so too did the religious leaders devise to trap Jesus and the people they were meant to serve by “preaching” truth without living truth. The “fruit” of their labor was rotten: in Jesus’s colorful words, their converts were “twice the sons of hell as they were.”2

You see, in the widely accepted understanding of what it means to be preyed upon, when the prey is finally trapped, it is not for the benefit of the prey so much as it is for the predator. Likewise, if you prey upon the spiritual weaknesses of those around you to “trap” them into following what you believe, it does not end well for your prey. They may be swayed toward your opinion out fear, condemnation, or sensational inspiration, none of which is a foundation for a genuine relationship with God. Or, they may pick up the scent of your noxious intent, come out swinging, and eventually free themselves from your vicious trap that appeared to almost destroy them and their peace. Both scenarios impede the mission and commandments of Christ. 

For a long time, I thought I was doing the right thing. Honestly. I loved my new knowledge from the powerful sermon I had just watched, and I loved how much (I thought) it changed my perspective on life, and I wanted it to do the same for my neighbor. But if my intent in sharing that information was to shame the next person for what they did not know about my newfound knowledge, would God still honor my sharing it in that spirit? Probably not (see Matthew 23, I’m serious, all of it). But when I allowed godly wisdom to prevail (which included not just understanding information but also a transformation in my spirit), my presentation was different. It was knowledge, but now in the same heart posture of God. In Matthew 22-23, as Jesus called out the specific characteristics of self-righteous people, He also presented the remedy for self-righteousness by way of the most important commandment: Love God. And equally as important: Love your neighbor.

Now, back to an earlier point. You may have read all of this and thought to yourself (or have heard many times): “We need to stop being worried about people’s feelings and just preach the Gospel.” Yes, the truth hurts sometimes. It cuts deeply. Paul writes that “The Word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires.”3 When the Truth is used for redemption and restoration, it instills a sense of conviction, which can fuel a desire to cultivate a fruitful relationship with God. When the Truth is used as a weapon against a person—not the flesh, not the world, not the devil—but against a person created in the image of God, it leads to condemnation and shame, which are not fruitful (like that whole “preaching truth but not living truth part I mentioned earlier”). At a certain point, I realized how much my sharp words and shared sermon excerpts, heavy with truth but devoid of the context in which that truth was originally presented, could be a veil that prevented my audience from seeing the message of God more clearly. While I prayed that the “scales would fall off of their eyes,” it was my own vision that needed some restoration. So the next time I shared a sermon excerpt, I’d share the entire sermon and then preface the excerpt with “this really spoke to me.”

Maybe you’ve made it this far and have acknowledged that I’m probably not talking about you. Oblige me even further and take a moment to read Matthew 23. Before you do, just as David did in Psalm 139:23-24,4 ask God if there is any part of you that may resemble the Pharisees in the slightest way. Take a moment to ask God for forgiveness, grace, and wisdom in how to proceed in the future when sharing your faith. Continue to examine your thoughts and motives when opportunities to share your faith present themselves. Sometimes they really truly are great opportunities, and sometimes they are traps. Pray for the wisdom to know the difference. While Satan may not always succeed at keeping us quiet, he knows how he may render our words and actions ineffective. 

So, I beseech you and my own self, before preaching in proverbial caps lock or using Christianese and hoity toity phrases to prove our point, to consider our intentions, reassess the situation, and choose words and actions of life. To those who I failed in doing so to, I am sorry. I hope you can forgive me as I endeavor to do better.

In love and veritas, 

Chioma  

 

1.     The world: the systemic opposition to God in various forms of thinking and ways of living; the flesh: our sinful nature; the devil: Satan and his tactics as the enemy of God

2.     Matthew 23:15

3.     Hebrews 4:11

4.     “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.” ‭